Rum and Reality
by WritingOnTheStars
Summary: What is there left to do after defeating the most powerful sorceress in existence? Sit on the dock and get drunk, of course. Seifer/Quistis


I've been writing this piece on and off since July. For the first part I tried to follow the ending party scene fairly accurately. Currently just a one-shot. Any constructive criticism is highly appreciated.

Standard disclaimers apply.

* * *

"Come on Quisty, you must know this song!"

She just rolled her eyes as Irvine began dancing next to her, his limbs flailing around in a steady rhythm. "No, actually I don't."

"Quit bein' such a wet noodle! This is a party!" the cowboy said as he turned and swung his arms.

'Yeah, and parties aren't my thing,' she thought, smirking as Irvine winked and continued to dance like a fool. She should be happier, she supposed. This party was partially in her honor.

"Smile at the camera, Quisty!" Selphie shouted from across the room, waving her new recorder toward the blond woman. Unsure of how to respond, she just smiled uncomfortably and waved. Quistis Trepe hated cameras, but it was one of Selphie's favorite hobbies. A cowboy hat bobbled between her and the lense, and she automatically swatted him away.

Instead of leaving her alone, Irvine grabbed her around the shoulders and pulled her toward his chest. "Don't mind Quisty, Sephie. She's just dazzled by my amazing dance skills!"

"You're so smooth, Irvy!" the brunette girl cooed, wiggling her fingers at him in a cute wave. He waved back with a smile.

"I'm trying to get her to dance with me, but she doesn't wanna!"

"Irvine, stop it…" she said, looking at the floor to hide her scowl as she tried to push him away.

"She should know that she doesn't have to be intimidated by my mastery of the moves!"

With a final shoved she dislodged his hold, walking in a random direction to get away from the cowboy. Dancing wasn't something the young woman enjoyed. 'It's bad enough that they make us learn the waltz in SeeD training, but this is just ridiculous…' The ballroom felt claustrophobic as she ignored the distressed calls of Irvine, trying to apologize and ask her to dance in one breath.

She spotted the headmaster of Balamb Garden starring into his glass of champagne, the grin on his face a mile wide. "Headmaster," she said, approaching him with a smile of her own. The man was more than just her leader; he was the closest thing she would ever have to a father. The fact that she had forgotten her time at the little stone house on the shores of Centra made her feel slightly guilty, but it was inevitable with the usage of the Guardian Forces.

"Quistis!" he exclaimed, turning the force of his happiness toward her. It was almost too much, and she had to recoil a bit. "I'm so proud of you!"

"Me?" she asked.

"Of course!" he replied with a hearty laugh. "You may not realize it, but you're the glue that holds this group of ragtag orphans together! Without your strength, this great feat would have been impossible!"

Quistis looked down for a moment, feeling embarrassed and ashamed at the same time. 'They rely on me?' she thought, fighting away an empty grin. 'No… perhaps they did at a point, but not anymore.'

"Thank you, Headmaster," she said, forcing her face into a kind expression. "Really though, it was completely a team effort."

"And I couldn't be more proud of any of you." The elder man looked wistful for a moment, and suddenly she knew he wasn't looking at Quistis Trepe, A rank SeeD. For a moment she was Quisty, the little blond girl with big dreams and an even bigger opinion, sand and salt water clinging to her hair as she created elaborate sand castles on the beach near the orphanage. "You've all grown so much…"

She could remember the picture of herself like that, young and carefree. The feelings were gone. 'I'm so jaded,' she thought sullenly. "Only because you've guided us so well."

"Ah, Quistis, that isn't true. I would have guided you all away from this lifestyle if I was any kind of guardian…" Cid replied. His eyes wavered for a moment with regret, but the smile never left his face.

'We all wear our masks well, don't we?' she thought as she watched Cid look over her shoulder.

"Do you like your new camera?" he asked Selphie, and Quistis turned to find the girl in question rapidly approaching.

"I love it!" Hearing Selphie's voice made her imagine a mixture of cotton candy and sunshine. It was hard to believe that just two days ago she had been a hardened warrior, smashing Ultimencia's left shoulder with her nunchaku. The younger girl was a SeeD, and Quistis found it easy to forget that fact outside of missions.

"Good, good…" Cid said, and Quistis couldn't help but roll her eyes at the younger girl's antics. Couldn't she go film someone else? But no, Selphie would follow her around, simply because deep down the brunette had a sick sense of humor and was quite aware of the fact that the camera made Quistis uncomfortable. Resisting the urge to walk away again, she turned back to Cid.

"Where is the Garden's next stop?" she asked. 'I need to get out of here for a bit.'

He turned to her, looking slightly anxious. "I thought we'd stay here, in Balamb, for a little while."

'A visit to the beach is in order,' she thought, already starting to formulate plans that involved escaping Garden, the empty beach at sunset and a bottle of rum. Drinking wasn't something normal for the ex-instructor, but she was so overwhelmed at the moment that passing out and having a hangover beat the hell out of the alternative.

Suddenly Cid turned and he began to beam. Edea, in a plain dress with her long, dark tresses cascading down her back, looked slightly flustered as she bowed to them respectfully. She and Cid locked eyes, and Quistis knew that she could never understand the deep bond between a Sorceress and her knight. The way they looked at one another was beyond words; all she could see was pure, undiluted love.

She couldn't deny that she was slightly envious.

"Edea, darling," he said softly, wrapping his arm around her waist carefully, as though she would break at the slightest pressure.

"Quisty," she said softly, and her voice wasn't that of the Sorceress Edea. It was that of the Matron from her memories, with clear amber eyes and a kind smile. "You've become so beautiful."

It wasn't something she was expecting, and she found herself blushing slightly.

"Matron!" Irvine said as she stood at her side. Instinctively he and Quistis both bowed to her, and the older woman looked flustered again.

"Don't do that…" she said, a laugh comparable to the sound of wind chimes on a summer afternoon escaping her naturally dark lips. Everything about Matron looked fragile at that moment, and Quistis realized that she probably was incredibly weak. It had taken quite some time for her appearance to shift back into the woman of her memories, and the light bags under her eyes displayed a lack of rest.

Quistis could relate.

She nervously glanced back again, hoping that Selphie had decided on a more interesting subject to film. No suck luck.

"Hey, you need a shot of just the ladies!" Irvine said as he approached his girlfriend, grabbing for the camera.

"Irvy, get off!" she said, trying to push him away.

"Oh come on, I won't break it…"

"Yes you will! Remember when you broke my nunchaku?"

"Hey, that was an accident and it was mainly Zell's fault anyway!"

Irvine finally got the recorder and grinned proudly. Selphie just stuck out her tongue and swiped his hat. "Then I get this until I get my camera back!" she said, plopping the hat on to her head and running over to Quistis.

'Not again…'

"And it never looked better, darlin!"

"Oh Irvy!" Her eyebrows knitted together slightly as she began shifting her hands, signaling for Irvine to turn the camera. "You have it on it's side, silly!"

He quickly fixed the problem, and Selphie grabbed her arm. What was she supposed to do, keep waving like an idiot? This film wasn't going to be good for her already low self-esteem.

Suddenly the camera shifted, and Quistis breathed out a sigh of relief. Seeing her opportunity, she turned away, listening to Selphie scold Irvine for looking at other girls. The blue mage almost felt like crying when the brunette took her arm and began leading her away from the camera wielding cowboy, even though Selphie knew full well that he would follow.

"Look Quisty, he doing it again!" she said suddenly, pointing to her right.

Her sisterly instincts kicked in as she saw Zell stuffing hot dogs into his mouth without chewing. Or swallowing, for that matter. "Stop that, you're going to get sick!" she said, but she knew her words fell on deaf ears. That seemed to be the trend lately.

She noticed the shy girl from the library sitting next to him, gazing at him lovingly. 'That's definitely the way to attract girls,' she thought, not surprised when the martial artist began to choke. Rushing to his back, both she and Selphie began smacking him. Quistis knew that it wouldn't help him dislodge the hot dog from his throat, but it was fun for a moment. Zell regained his composure and looked back at them, food stuffed in his cheeks like a chipmunk. "Smile for the camera," Selphie whispered.

"Cambera?" came the muffled reply. "Bhere?!?" Suddenly he began flailing around, quickly spotting Irvine on the other side of the table, aided by the fact that the cowboy couldn't stop laughing. Zell started chucking food at the offending piece of machinery, and Quistis spotted her second chance. She quickly darted toward the door, sighing happily as Selphie and Irvine became distracted with something out on the balcony.

She slid through the large ballroom doors and quickly made her way to her room, sliding her SeeD ID card through the reader roughly. Fortunately for her, she still had an instructor's suite, which included a refrigerator. She plucked the lone bottle of rum out of the back and stuffed it into a bag, along with a glass and a couple aspirin. 'Lord knows I'll need them…'

Ten minutes later she found herself on the deserted harbor overlooking the sea surrounding Balamb. The night was warm and it took her no time at all to slide the boots and gloves off of her limbs. Setting herself on the edge of the pier, she let out a deep breath. Nothing but darkness and the faint flicker of stars greeted her on the horizon, and Quistis sensed a large metaphor trembling above her head. 'What more is there to do, after you've defeated the most powerful Sorceress in all of time and space?' she thought sullenly, her toes barely grazing the churning tide below her feet.

Suddenly SeeD seemed empty. Everything seemed empty.

"They depend on me…" she muttered, a small smirk lighting up her face as she pulled the bottle out of her bag. "Yeah, right. All they depend on now is one another. They're not children anymore. They don't need an instructor…" She quickly pulled the cork out of the bottle, steady hands grabbing the glass and pouring the swirling amber liquid all the way to the brim. With a nod to the horizon she raised her glass. "Cheers…" she said softly, falling into a small reverie as the twinkling stars reflected off the toxic liquid, and suddenly she was drawn to the vice even more.

"I never thought I'd see you like this," a voice called from behind her, startling her so badly that she dropped the glass into the ocean.

"Damn…" she said softly, watching the amber liquid spill into the endlessly dark water.

"The least you can do is offer to share."

She didn't even look back; Quistis would know that voice anywhere. "I only brought one glass."

A scoff met her ears as he approached, plopping down beside her gracefully. "Who said you needed a glass in the first place?" He grabbed the bottle from her hand and took a large swig.

Quistis rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle from his hands. "Honestly Seifer…" she said in a teasing manner. She slowly raised the bottle to her lips, and the cool rum felt like fire coursing down her throat. The sensation made her feel a bit more alive, and she turned to face him for the first time since coming out of time compression.

He looked the same as always, with his long trench coat and straw colored hair. But his normally feral expression was somber, and she could guess what was running through his mind. "Come back to Garden," she said softly, offering him the bottle.

He took another swig and looked into her eyes. "I never fit there Trepe, you know that better than anyone. You were my fucking teacher, for Hyne's sake. I'm not cut out for a big wig organization like Garden." He handed her the bottle and leaned back on to his palms. "I give orders, I don't take them."

"That's abundantly clear," she said, the rim of the bottle resting against her lips. "Then what are you going to do now?"

He shrugged. "I dunno… Raijin and Fujin are going back to Garden. That's where they belong; they need structure. But me… I was thinking about heading to Fisherman's Horizon."

Quistis raised her eyebrows as she took another small drink, settling the bottle between them. "Why there?"

"Why not?" he replied immediately. "Definitely not going back to Galbadia, Trabia is too fucking cold, and Esthar is too high tech for my tastes."

"What will you do?"

He was quiet for a long moment, and Quistis thought she had asked too much. "I'm tired of fighting," he said at last.

"I never thought I would hear that coming from you."

He chuckled lightly, and Quistis couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for the man sitting beside her. As more and more memories of the orphanage came back to her, she remembered how Seifer has been as a child: teasing, taunting, but sweet, always with his jaw pushed forward and his eyes squinted as he looked toward the sun. She vividly remembered times when he would kick over her sand castles, or break her jewelry crafted so carefully from seashells. But she also remembered times where he would be right beside her building those castles and help her find the shells that were the most beautiful.

"I never thought I'd say it, either," he replied, starring at the shadowy horizon. "I'm just… tired, Quistis. I'm nineteen and I'm fucking ready to retire from a job I've never even had."

"Life is like a job, isn't it?" she said softly. "Without vacation pay."

"Was that an attempt at a joke, Trepe?" he said with a grin, looking over at her.

"Maybe… I can be funny sometimes too," she replied, her eyebrow arched.

He just shrugged and picked up the bottle, taking another swig. "This is good stuff," he said, reading the label. "How long have you been saving this?"

"A while."

"Special occasion?"

She rolled her eyes. "They're having a party to celebrate the defeat of Ultimecia at Garden."

"Ah, now I understand… running from the limelight?" he said with an understanding smirk.

"I don't care for parties."

"You shouldn't be so tight-assed."

A frown crossed her face. "I stayed for a bit…"

He grunted, handing her the bottle. "Not by your own free will, I'll bet."

"Whatever…" she muttered as she took the rum and felt the familiar burning sensation in her throat as the liquid slid past her lips. "I really hate how this stuff tastes."

"I don't even taste it anymore," he replied. "It's all about the buzz. Enough to make you forget, not enough to make you pass out. There's a fine line."

She smirked. "I didn't know there was a philosophy behind being an alcoholic."

"There's a philosophy behind everything I do, Trepe. I do have a brain, though I haven't been using it over the past year."

Suddenly she turned to him, a serious expression crossing her face. "What was it like?"

Immediately understanding what she meant, he frowned and his eyes became a bit hazy. "Sometimes I was in control of myself… I'd try to figure out what was going on, or try to get away… but most of the time it was like I was watching myself through a veil." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Like, it was my body that was moving, but it wasn't my words or my actions. I saw everything… I saw the fights, all the people I killed…" He raised his hand and gently touched her exposed arm. A long scar ran from her shoulder to her elbow. His fingers ran along the mark, and she had to stop herself from shivering. "Sorry…" he mumbled.

"It wasn't your fault…" she said softly. His proximity suddenly felt suffocating, and she could feel her cheeks flaming. "Matron explained to us how she was possessed… no one blames you, you know…"

"It doesn't matter." He paused for a moment. "What do they mean to me? Garden was never a home. Rinoa and I dated, sure, but it meant nothing. A childhood fling, puppy love. I'm a horrible student, Commander Puberty has already proven that he's better than me, plus Chicken Wuss, the messenger girl and the cowboy never liked me to begin with. What am I losing by leaving this place and never glancing back?"

She just looked at him. "I never thought you were a bad student."

His expression was startled for a moment, but then he just grinned. "You're shitting me, right?"

"If you would have followed directions, you would have passed your SeeD exam on the first try, you know."

"Not my style."

She just rolled her eyes.

"And you're better off?"

This took her by surprise. "What?"

"A SeeD. Is it that fucking amazing? Going out and killing for hire? After the whole Ultimecia ordeal, I'm in no hurry to end any more lives."

His words struck her harshly. "You have to understand Seifer, being a SeeD… it's all I have. It's all I've been for the past four years…" She took a deep breath and held the bottle in her hands, the stained liquid casting shadows against her skin. "I have nothing else."

"Fuck, Trepe, there's a whole world out there!" he exclaimed. "Being a SeeD isn't the only option."

"What other options exist for people like us, Seifer?" she exclaimed, finally losing her temper for a moment.

"Ha, finally… you see it." His voice was soft and tense as the corners of his mouth turned up. Quistis narrowed her eyes.

"And what would that be, Seifer?"

"You and I, we're the same. I knew from the beginning that I was too good for Garden." Suddenly his gaze locked on to her face, and she never realized that his eyes were so green. "You've always blown them all away. Fuck Puberty Boy, you deserve to be commanding that hunk of metal. They put you in a box, tell you that teaching isn't for you. It's to confine you, Quistis! If they let your talent go unchecked…"

He chuckled and looked back out to the water, and she felt relieved and disappointed at the same time.

"You would realize that you're too good to be used as a puppet."

A cold rage filled her chest. "You… you don't know anything…"

"Ha! Don't fool yourself." He turned his whole body toward her now, leaning toward her face. The grin on his lips was wicked. "You know just as well as I do that you don't really enjoy this lifestyle."

And reality came crashing down.

"Seifer…" she said, but he just pulled the bottle of alcohol from between them and took a swig.

"Come with me."

She almost mistook it for a gust of wind, but the words rang in her ears. Thoughts coursed through her mind rapidly, and she couldn't even bring herself to respond.

"Forget it!" he said, throwing back his head and laughing, and for his sake she ignore the slight flush of his cheeks. "You can't take yourself away from your little bubble. Garden is safe, isn't it? Don't have to deal with reality in there, just finish the mission, get paid, go to sleep. Rinse and repeat." Suddenly he seemed disgusted. "You're better than that, Quistis. Much better."

"You… you…" she seethed, grabbing the bottle from his hands. He braced himself, but the impact never came. Instead she raised the bottle to her lips and chugged the rest in one gulp. "You are incomprehensible, you know that Seifer?"

He grinned. "Are you trying to flirt with me?"

Rolling her eyes, she began gathering her gloves and boots. "Idiot…"

"So what about it?" he said, the discomfort obvious in his voice. "I mean, I don't have a plan, but I have two hundred gil and a destination in mind..." Standing next to her, he clumsily patted her shoulder.

Quistis couldn't contain her giggles.

"Fuck, Trepe!" he exclaimed as his face lit up in a rosy tint, and her laughter carried across the sand and the waves, until Seifer couldn't help but laugh with her.

* * *

The next morning Rinoa rushed to Quistis' room, hoping to tell her about her new found relationship with Squall. "Quisty!" she called, knocking gently on her door.

After a moment she frowned. "Quisty?" she called again as she entered the dorm. With a gasp she rushed forward, turning on the light. All her clothes and personal items were gone, and a single note was left on her perfectly made bed.

_Consider this my resignation as a SeeD. Life is too short._

_-Quistis_

Despite herself, a grin crept across Rinoa's face. "Good for you, Quisty," she muttered.

Sticking the note in her pocket as she left, she chuckled. "Squall and Cid won't be happy about this…"


End file.
